Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry.   It's here.  In our home.  And it's so not welcomed!! 

Given the age difference between our kids (they are 8 1/2, 3 1/2 and 18 months) we never thought we'd have a problem with sibling rivalry.  Of course we expected the kids to fight from time to time, as all children do despite their ages, but we were not prepared for this. 

Prior to sibling rivalry taking over our home (and our lives!) a few weeks ago, Kyle & Bella would argue over silly things but they'd get over it and move on within minutes.  Savannah, being the baby, never seemed particularly interested in what they were doing and would simply go about her own business.  More often than not Kyle and Bella would play quite happily together - whether it be playing with Bella's zoo of plastic animals or playing with Kyle's bucket of Transformers figures.  They would sit on the floor and play "make pretend" games for hours.  They would color pictures and build things out of playdough together. 

Then they were attacked by Sibling Rivarly.  Even worse?  It attacked the baby, too!!   Our once sweet-natured, kind & caring children have turned into mini WARRIORS!

I no longer feel like their Mother anymore..now I feel like I'm their referee!  Kyle bosses Bella around.  He wants to play with her, but only if she plays the role of a puppet on a string.  If she doesn't follow his (very specific, detailed) rules, then he yells at her.  He tells her what to say & even how she should be playing. At 8 1/2 years old he seems to have forgotten how to share & feels the need to FREAK OUT whenever Bella asks to play with one of his toys.  It's like he thinks she's going to run away with said toy to Mexico??
In turn, Bella antagonizes the heck out of him.  She purposely does the exact opposite of what he wants her to do, just to get a rise out of him.  If he's playing quietly, she disrupts him.   She has to be coaxed into sharing her things with him and forget about even TRYING to get her to share her things with Savannah.  She will literally ASK to be LOCKED into her room with her toys..just so Savannah can't get to them.
And speaking of Savannah.   THE BABY.  She may be the youngest warrior of the three, but she's the loudest.  Hands down, she is definitely the loudest.  While she doesn't seem at all bothered by Kyle, she freaks out whenever Bella enters the room.  She'll literally run from toy to toy, making this weird screeching noise while screaming "No, No, NO!!" over & over again, unwilling to share the toys she's *not* playing with, nevermind the ones she is playing with!  Holy mother of gods, it's awful.  I feel like someone is always crying, yelling, fighting or pouting.

It's no secret that our home is not all that large, however it's certainly (more than) big enough to accomodate our family.  In addition to the kids having their own bedrooms, we also have not one - but TWO - playrooms AND a finished basement.  There are no "off limits" areas of our home.  The kids are allowed to play wherever they want - together, or apart...  So it's absolutely mind boggling and infuriating to me when the kids torture themselves (and me/Jim!) by constantly fighting with each other.  I spend all day saying:
Stop fighting!
Get along!
Be nice to your brother/sister!
You don't have to play with each other!
Share!!
Just play seperate!!!
Leave the room!
Get away from each other!
Lead by example:  If you share with your sister, she will learn to share with you!  Is she going to Mexico with your toys?  NO SHE IS NOT, SO SHARE WITH HER!
Talk nicer to your sister!
Drop the attitude with each other!
ARE YOU HAVING FUN IF YOU'RE CRYING?  NO, SO LEAVE-THE-ROOM!  GO PLAY, BY YOURSELF, SOMEWHERE ELSE!
ARE YOU HAVING FUN IF YOU'RE YELLING?  NO, SO LEAVE-THE-ROOM AND PLAY BY YOURSELF!!

It's exhausting.  Seriously.  It's stressful.  It's both mentally & physically demanding on me, as I have to climb the stairs multiple times per day, playing the role of a judge as I try to bring justice and order into my home.  I'm constantly being pulled in 3 seperate directions, with everyone's actions demanding my attention in some sort of a negative manner.  We've had to change around the car seats in the van so that no one can (god forbid) see each other.  You may think we're being too extreme but YOU haven't experienced driving in the car, for more than 5 minutes, listening to them scream & yell at each other OVER NOTHING!!  It's enough to make you pull your hair out, strand by strand. 

So...Dear Sibling Rivalry, You are NOT welcome here in my home & you must leave right away.  I would like my three sweet children back, preferably before I completely insane.  I would prefer to dip my hands in hot oil before dealing with you for even one more day.

That is all.