Life In The Fast Lane!

At nearly 5 months of age, Sebastian has rounded the corner of the newborn stages.  He no longer eats every 3 hours 'round the clock, nor does he cry too often for reasons unknown.  Much of his time now is spent smiling, giggling, cooing and chewing on his hands!  Much of my time, however, is spent living Life In The Fast Lane!

With the newborn stage behind us now, I'm finding that the baby is no longer content to simply sit in one spot for any length of time.  He's very bright eyed and alert....and he enjoys being able to see things from various views.  He spends a good portion of his day being moved around from the bouncy seat to the swing to the doorway jumper to the activity mat on the floor.. He's as busy as his age will permit him to do be!

I (willingly) devote a good 17 hours of my day to the kids.  Yesterday morning I thought to myself "I should paint my nails today.  I haven't painted them since last summer.  They look so pretty when they're painted.  I should dye my hair today, too.. Jim is home from work.  I need to take some time for myself.  I feel frumpy."  Thinking back on it now, it was a complete miracle in and of itself that I actually completed that entire thought without being interrupted!  I remember getting as far as the closet where I keep all of the nail polish but that's as far as I got..  Savannah *needed* a cup of juice, Sebastian spit up all over himself and the next thing I know it's nearing 7p and I'm way the heck too tired to even think about painting my nails, much less go to the store to buy hair dye!

I am living Life In The Fast Lane:  I know that it's important for me to make time for myself but I honestly can't seem to figure out a way to make that happen!  There is no yellow light in my world.  The light turns green from the moment I wake up until the moment the I climb into bed at night!  The only time it's red is when I'm sleeping - and even then it's blinking red as not a night goes by where there's not some sort of a sleep interruption (i.e. Savannah needing help in the bathroom).  

Almost every morning I look in the mirror and feel unhappy with how I look.  I feel like I'm only doing the bare minimum to take care of myself and I wonder if that's just how it's supposed to be?  My biggest personal accomplishment recently has been to exercise on a daily basis and eat more salad and less junk food.  In the past 2 weeks I've lost 8 lbs, with a good 20 lbs more to go -- but ideally I'd be happy to just fit into one size smaller than the current size I'm wearing now.  Even with the scale heading in the right direction, I still feel like an "Ugly Duck" -- an Ugly Duck raising beautiful Swans, if that makes any sense?!  Let me try to explain myself better..  during the times in which I could be styling my hair, putting on make-up and painting my nails I am already busy - making lunch for Jim (one handed as I hold the baby), teaching Savannah how to write her name, helping Kyle with his Language workbook, listening to Bella read a story..  I'm folding laundry, washing dishes, cleaning off the kitchen and dining room table.  I'm helping Kyle, Bella and Savannah get into their snow gear so that they can go play outside which will give me just enough time to get at least one floor washed before they head back in.  I'm working on activities to do with the Girl Scouts while reading through Boy Scout paperwork.  I'm pulling out paints for one child and play-dough for another.  I'm giving someone a bath while attempting to clean the bathroom at the same time.  I spend all day - every day - juggling and multi-tasking.  Take today for example:  I was up feeding the baby at 5A.  By 7A the whole house was up.  I gulped down a cup of coffee and got breakfast ready for everyone.  While they were eating I got the baby dressed for the day, made the beds (except for Kyle because he makes his own, thankfully!) and got out the girls clothes.  By the time I was done cleaning up from breakfast, getting myself dressed and getting the girls dressed it was time to feed the baby again.  While I was feeding him I was also helping Kyle with some History school work.  When we finished with that it was time to get everyone ready to leave the house - never a small project.  We were out the door by 10:30A, on our way to Warwick to pick up patches for the Girl Scouts.  We arrived back home at 12P - had lunch, fed the baby, put away a load of laundry, did school work with Kyle, Bella and Savannah, washed 3 floors and then got everyone ready to head out again - this time to the library.  From the library we went to the girls dance class and from dance class we went grocery shopping.  After grocery shopping we picked up Bella's friend Myles and headed home for "Pizza and Movie Night".  We walked in the door at 5:15p.  I fed the baby, ordered pizzas, gave Savannah a shower and washed a load of dishes.  Then I blinked and it was 7:30p - time to start the bedtime routine....By the time the last child is in bed I will have just enough energy to take a shower..

Yes, I'm living Life In The Fast Lane.  I feel tired and I look run down -- but I'm so very blessed to have this life..